


stay when it's hard or it's wrong or you're making mistakes (i'll be cleaning up bottles with you on new year's day)

by leifstroganoff



Category: Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pre-Canon, Angst, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Meeting the Parents, i'll never get better at tagging but, lots of loving bullyingly and the pre-canon dynamic that i so want to explore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:27:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28273092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leifstroganoff/pseuds/leifstroganoff
Summary: “Hypothetically,”He starts, shifting his weight so he can lean on the coffee bar. “If you had been lying to your family about having a significant other to get out of awkward family events and they’ve finally caught you red-handed in this lie and you’re expected to bring someone you’ve been dating for two years home for Christmas, what would you do?”Well.She’s not entirely sure what she was expecting him to ask her, butthatwas definitely not it.
Relationships: Zoey Clarke/Leif Donnelly
Comments: 30
Kudos: 45





	1. maybe some things are that simple and clean

**Author's Note:**

> yes im starting to publish another holiday fic that i'll be writing well into the new year bc idk how to balance my time and ideas <3 this is pre-canon bc i love the dynamic and im fascinated by what their dynamic would be like if she'd never gotten the power and heard him sing tbh -- it's also just,,,, shamelessly self-indulgent and will probably be ridiculously fluffy beyond the family anst bc i deserve to actually write happy zeif that were friends and i wont apologize lol

The elevator doors open smoothly as Zoey approaches them, stepping in with a polite smile to the girl who’d come in before her. The doors start to close with the same smoothness until an arm quickly catches it, lithe body catching up within seconds to step in with a small ‘ _good morning’_ and an awkward nod that probably shouldn’t be as endearing as it is. 

Leif is a good acquaintance and, more importantly, a good coworker. He’s a little awkward and she’s seen him make a fool of himself at one too many Holiday parties, but out of all the dudes she works with, save Max, he’s made his way to the top of the _‘I can stand holding a conversation with you’_ list, so she doesn’t have a problem greeting him with a _‘good morning’_ and a smile and a more than genuine ‘ _how are you?’._

“I’m doing okay.” He replies, head nodding with it and she’s not _exactly_ the best at reading people or emotions, but he seems… _nervous._ Or constipated? She thinks maybe nervous is the more likely option here, face paler than normal and body language _tense,_ hands shoved into his pockets as the elevator doors open to the fourth floor and they start to walk towards the bullpen. He notices the quizzical look resting on her face and shakes his head a little bit. “Just stressed, y’know? Holiday crunch. Really feels like Joan’s gonna _actually_ kill one of us these days.” 

She nods with a laugh as they round the corner towards their desks.

“ _God,_ yeah. My bets are on Glenn. Poor guy.” 

A silence hangs back over the office floor as they set their stuff down at their respective desks, the sound of typing ringing out through the floor and Zoey _kind of_ hates it. She’s not exactly fond of _loud, boisterous_ places either but she doesn’t think she’s ever actually heard SPRQpoint _this_ quiet on a Tuesday morning before. Maybe Leif had a point about the _holiday crunch._

She makes her way quickly to the coffee bar (because _god,_ does she need some caffeine with the aforementioned holiday crunch looming over all of the coders) where she finds herself side by side with the taller man once again.

“Fancy seeing you here.” He quips, glancing at her with a smile that’s just a little too bright and _proud of himself_ for the non-joke joke he’d made that she meets with an eyebrow raise and an _endeared_ smile. “Oooh, tough crowd.” 

That one actually draws a laugh out of her, pouring sugar from a canister into her drink as he stirs the cream he’d poured into his drink as her eyes flit back over to him and she notices that the laughter’s fallen from his face and he’s back to looking _pale_ and _scared_ again.

“Can I ask you something?” He blurts out bluntly, surprising her as he throws the wooden stirrer into the trash, nervous features contorting into an even more nervous frown. 

“ _Shoot,_ ” She responds, despite the worry growing under her skin at how _pale_ he still looks as he brings the coffee up to his lips and takes a small, thoughtful sip. 

“ _Hypothetically,”_ He starts, shifting his weight so he can lean on the coffee bar. “If you had been lying to your family about having a significant other to get out of awkward family events and they’ve finally caught you red-handed in this lie and you’re expected to bring someone you’ve been dating for two years home for Christmas, what would you do?” 

_Well._ She’s not entirely sure what she was expecting him to ask her, but _that_ was definitely not it. 

“I…” _What **would** she do? _She’s not entirely sure. She takes a second to ponder it as she sips from her own absurdly sweet coffee, observing his anxious face that’s now staring kind of blankly out over the bullpen. “Maybe I would… tell them the truth?” She tries, but sees him immediately shake his head and she doesn’t really wanna ask why that’s _so_ out of the question. “...Or _ask_ someone to go with me. To pretend.” 

He seems to mull over what she’d said in his head, tongue in his cheek for a second as his eyes process it before he nods slightly and glances back over to her where she sips from the cup again. 

“What if you went with me?” 

She’s sorry, _what?_

It’s not that she doesn’t like Leif (quite the opposite, actually, if you ask _Max_ , who won’t shut up about the soft smiles she gives him when they help each other solve a problem, but she doesn’t think Max knows what he’s talking about, anyways) or even that she wouldn’t be willing to _go._ She just… never in a million years expected him to ask _her_ after she’d made that suggestion.

“What if _I_ went with you?” She’s sure she sounds as perplexed as she feels, eyebrow raising with the words that she can’t actually believe she just heard him say (but she’s sure that he _did_ say based on the nervously expectant look on his face as he opens and closes his mouth to try and come up with a response). 

“I just, uh - I don’t really have a lot of girl friends. Um, friends that are girls. _You know what I mean._ ” 

“Do I? _Know what you mean?_ ” She asks, less confusion in her voice now, replaced with a slight teasing edge that falls out of it as soon as she sees how crestfallen he looks.

“Zoey, I don’t… really _have_ anyone else that I can ask.” 

She thinks she _should_ say no. In all actuality, when she’d suggested it as an option for his predicament, she’d thought he was less-than-straight (as well as out and proud; and she knows she’s _right_ , anyways, because she’s seen the bi sticker slapped onto his bike helmet) and that he’d ask someone like Tobin who already _knows_ him well and likes spending time with him and stuff.

“Okay,” She hears herself saying the affirmative word before she’s actually processed that she’s _saying she’ll go home with him for Christmas._ Like, that she’ll _actually_ do that and miss out on time with her family and _meet_ the family of her awkward coworker that Max keeps _trying_ to tell her she has a crush on. And maybe she _does_ have a crush on him if she’s willing to do all of that just to make him stop looking so sad leaning against the coffee bar.

“What?”

“I said _‘okay’._ I’ll go with you.” She nods, picking up her coffee and starting to walk away before she can rethink (read: _over_ think) the _impulsiveness_ of her decision to accompany him. “Call me tonight and we’ll make plans.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments? 👉🏼👈🏼


	2. in for a penny, in for a pound

“I’m sorry, _what?”_

Max’s voice rings out in the space between her and where he stands on the other side of her desk where she fixes him with a glare that’s _meant_ to say _‘keep your voice down’,_ but probably just looks more like she’s got gas than anything else. She doesn’t know why she’s so _worried,_ anyways, because she knows Leif left for lunch with Tobin twenty minutes ago and won’t be back for at least another forty; regardless of _logic,_ she can’t help the twist of worry in her gut that talking about it brings.

“I don’t know why it’s so hard to believe that I said I’d go home with him for Christmas and pretend to be his girlfriend. Lots of people do that, Max, c’mon.”

“Okay, uh, first off, I’d like you to define _‘lots of people’,”_ Max’s remark comes with a tilt of his head and a judging look in his eyes. “And _second,_ you _know_ that’s not why I’m giving you this look. You know _exactly why_ I’m giving you this look.”

“Well, I’d like you to _define_ ,” She throws his own words back at him with a pointed glance. “Exactly _why_ you’re giving me that look, because I’m stumped. There’s nothing weird about this, Max.”

The look he’s giving her morphs into a laugh and a shake of his head that makes her roll her eyes, though the ghost of a smile betrays her annoyance. She _does_ know why he’s giving her that look, she just doesn’t _agree_ with him.

“Zo, you can’t just pretend that you don’t get all blush-y everytime you work together on something and he leans down next to your laptop or tells a _laughably_ bad joke. We all have _eyes_.”

Zoey turns back to her laptop with an air of indignance, opening the section of code she’d started before her lunch break.

“‘ _Blush-y’_ isn’t a word.” _Deflection is the key to success._ “Besides I think _‘you all’,_ whoever that’s referring to, need to get your eyes checked, because even if it _were_ a word, I do _not_ get all ‘blush-y’.

“Do, too.” Max is smiling like a _five year old_ , holding the backpack strap on his shoulder and she would _judge him for it_ if she weren’t about to play right into it.

“Do not.”

“ _Do, too.”_

“ _Okay_ , my cheeks might get… a little blush-y, but it has nothing to do with him, _Max,_ I just _happen_ to have… a very pale complexion and when I laugh, I get… _blush-y._ ”

“Uh-huh.” Max’s voice is still teasing, though he’s screwed his face into a serious frown at her, nodding his head solemnly. “So you’re laughing because you hate him and think he’s the least funny person on Earth, even when he’s being a big dork and you can’t stop smiling at him, right? That’s what’s happening there?”

Zoey screws her face into an _almost_ pout, colored more by annoyance than any actual disappointment or frustration.

“You’re pretty _blush-y_ now, Zo.”

“Oh, _shut up._ ” She bites back, though there’s no malice in it, the air lighthearted around them as he starts to walk backward and drop his backpack off at his desk.

“You can keep telling me to shut up, but _you’re_ the one going home for Christmas with him.” Max says, punctuating it with a _knowing_ look and a tilt of his head, which she meets with a roll of her eyes and a rededicated focus to the screen in front of her as he settles back into his desk.

He’s _not_ right. She doesn’t have a crush on Leif and she does _not_ get all _blush-y_ around him, no matter how many times Max says the not-real-real-word. She just… thinks he’s slightly better than the other dudes around the office and felt a weird swirling in her stomach when she saw how downtrodden he’d looked standing at the coffee bar earlier in the day and felt a weird pull that she kind of thought meant she’d do anything to make him _not_ look like that anymore; and it would just be icing on the cake if he smiled that cheesy smile that made her chest feel kinda warm for a minute.

But it’s _not_ a crush. That part is _very_ important. She just wants her kind-of-friend-but-mostly-acquaintance to be happy. Is that a crime?

* * *

It gets significantly harder to stomach the worry that crops up when Max drops her off to meet him at the airport at the end of the week and Leif looks pale and almost _sick_ when she approaches his seat by the gate.

“Y’know, they actually prefer it if you throw up in one of the bathrooms. Saves the janitor’s time.” She teases him, but that doesn’t shut down the worrying twist in her stomach; what _does_ shut it down, at least marginally, is his light laugh as he relaxes back into the ugly green chair, though his arms are still folded uncomfortably across his chest. “Seriously, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m just…” He shakes his head, looking up to meet her eyes for the first time since she’d walked up. “I don’t really _like_ planes. Or not ‘ _don’t really’_ , I hate them, like _a lot_. Like, ‘I actually do kind of wanna throw up right now’ a lot.”

He speaks blankly, shaking his head as she sits next to him and rests what she hopes is a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“Well, _whew,_ ” She starts, over exaggerating as she mimes wiping a bead of sweat off her forehead. “I thought this whole pale schtick was all cause of your family and I was starting to second guess how deep I was getting myself in here.”

He grimaces and _oh._ That’s an apologetic look that he’s giving her, implying that she _should_ be concerned about his family.

“I mean… you shouldn’t… _not_ be concerned about my family.” He says, sitting up straighter in the seat and turning towards her. “It’s… not too late to back out, they’re — I mean, they’re — they’re _intense.”_

Zoey zeroes in on his face for a second, considering the words; actually _considering_ backing out, but then she sees how _sincere_ and _apologetic_ he looks and she can’t quite do that. She’s already paid for the plane ticket, anyhow.

Like a school bell saving her from an awkward conversation, the loud speaker comes on with an announcement calling for their gate to board and she lets a soft smile creep onto her face.

“I _think_ I’ll be okay. C’mon.” She offers her hand to him as she stands up, slipping her carry on backpack back over her shoulder as he takes the hand, his messenger bag already resting against his side.

 _“Alright,”_ There’s not an ounce of confidence seeping into his voice as he walks behind her to the boarding area.

Once they’re on the plane, she’s disconcerted by how he looks somehow _paler_ than he did waiting by the gate and she doesn’t hesitate to grab his hand (she’s sure she _should_ feel more hesitant, but the way he instantly relaxes, if only a little bit, pushes that fact to the back of her mind), relaying tales of her brother’s similar fear of flights with it, telling him about the statistics of flights and how _‘it’s actually very unlikely that we’ll crash at all’._

While the words didn’t do _much_ to help, the hand in his own, tracing small circles with her thumb, _did_ and he managed to fall asleep before they took off, avoiding any turbulence at all and letting his head loll onto Zoey’s shoulder softly (a point to which she didn’t _object,_ figuring that it was better to let him rest than try to disturb him, anyways: it had nothing at all to do with the fact that she _didn’t mind_ him falling asleep on her shoulder, neck crooked in a way that genuinely _cannot_ be comfortable).

He wakes up five hours later to Zoey shaking his shoulder gently, prodding him to remember that the plane is about to land and they’re about to see his family and _that_ doesn’t exactly leave him with the lack of anxiety that he’d hoped stepping off the plane would bring.

The taxi ride to his parent’s house isn’t _un_ comfortable, but that worry is back ten-fold as his leg shakes gently in the backseat next to her, though the color’s at least returned to his face.

“Hey,” She gently gets his attention, his head snapping to look at her from where he’d been staring at his hands in his lap. “You sure you’re okay?”

A deep breath falls from his lips as he moves his eyes to meet the driver’s headrest instead.

“Honestly?” His eyes flit back to her for a second before leaving again, shaking his head with it. “ _No._ I get nervous about having to see them under _normal_ circumstances, hence why the lie _happened_ in the first place, but… it’s so much worse knowing I’m actually gonna be, like, _lying to them_ outright. To their _faces._ With a real person in on it.”

“It’s not too late to tell them the truth.”

“ _No,_ ” The word leaves his mouth before he can think about it, his tone harsher than he intended it to be as he swallows nervously, glancing back down at his lap. “I just — I mean… They already —”

“Hey, deep breath, c’mon.”

Zoey reaches across the middle of the backseat to rest a hand on his shoulder, thumb rubbing softly — she’s just never _seen_ him like this. Even when he’s been _awkward_ or _dorky_ at work, he’s still had this dumb air of casual confidence, of kindness and peace and _not_ whatever’s happening next to her right now, where he looks like he could burst into tears at the thought of seeing his parents. She’s not even met them, yet, and she already feels like grabbing his hand and taking them _anywhere but_ his parents house.

“Um, I’m gonna be… probably uncharacteristically honest,” Leif twists in his seat so he can face Zoey, steeling himself with a final deep breath. “They’re — I know they’re disappointed in me. They… _always have been._ Y’know, even in high school, anything under an A was - was unheard of and my siblings were always… just _better._ And it’s dumb, but I know if I tell them the truth, tell them I was lying, that’s just another _reason_ for them to be, so… so I can’t do that.”

“Okay,” Zoey nods her head; she’s following his lead here — if he thinks it’s best to dive in headfirst, she’ll be right there with him.

“Okay,” Leif repeats, straightening in his seat and glancing out of his window where he sees that they’re approaching his parents’ large, looming house. “ _We’re here.”_

The car slows to a halt in the driveway and Leif straightens his posture with one last deep breath before they both get out of the car and grab their suitcases, wishing the driver a good day as he pulls off.

“I know I already warned you that they’re _intense_ , but it… it bears repeating.”

Leif grabs his suitcase with a sigh and walks up to the large front door, knocking on it sharply as Zoey steps up behind him.

When the door swings open to show a young brunette lady who she’s _pretty sure_ couldn’t actually be Leif’s mother even if the math _did_ check out, Zoey is… surprised, to say the least. But Leif’s entire demeanor changes when he sees her, shoulders relaxing and a wide smile spreading across his face as she pulls him into a tight hug.

“Oh my god, you have no clue how good it is to see you.” Leif says as he pulls away, his hand lingering on her shoulder as he turns to Zoey. “This is my sister; Lily. Lily, this is my…” He hesitates, glancing between the two of them before his eyes land on Zoey with a small shrug. “This is my girlfriend; Zoey.”

“Oh, _wow,”_ Lily sticks a hand out for Zoey to shake, which she does, albeit a little awkwardly as she smiles at her. “You didn’t mention your girlfriend was the _absolute_ cutest.”

Zoey can’t help the blush that colors her cheeks as she watches a blush color _Leif’s_ cheeks as he opens and closes his mouth and _wow._ This might actually be tougher than she thought if he was gonna lose the ability to speak anytime they had to _actually_ act like a couple.

“That’s me.” Her thumb moves to awkwardly point at herself as she speaks. “ _The absolute cutest.”_

She decides quickly that she likes Lily (and it seems like Leif shares that sentiment, given the fact that this is the first time he’s looked like he _isn’t_ about to pass out) as she lets out a soft laugh at Zoey’s awkward charm, waving them inside and telling them they can leave their luggage by the staircase.

She’s grateful that she hadn’t let her guard down when Lily leads them into the living room and the only word she can think to describe the vibe is _‘stuffy’._ When they walk in, she sees three couples; one, she assumes, must be his parents and the other two must be his brothers and their wives, based off of the very brief family rundown he’d given her while they were making travel plans.

“Lucky’s here.” Lily says to the room and is met by the oldest man, who she figures must be his father, looking at her over the top of the newspaper he’s reading. Zoey turns her head to Leif and mouths _‘Lucky?’_ with a raise of her eyebrows, but she’s met by a light blush on his cheeks and a shake of his head, saying ‘ _don’t ask’._ “Don’t everyone get all excited at once.”

One of his brothers rolls his eyes at that, standing up and pulling Leif into a much stiffer hug than the one she’d seen him give Lily moments prior; Lily meets Zoey’s eyes from the other side of the room and must see the confusion in them because she mouths _‘Alex’_ and points at the brother that’s hugging him before mouthing _‘Jude’_ and pointing at the one still sitting with his arm around his wife. All Zoey can do is mouth _‘thank you’_ back at her.

“It’s good to see you!” Alex pulls away, clapping Leif on the shoulder and she’s not sure if he even notices the way that Leif flinches at that. “And this is?”

Alex gestures to Zoey as he turns to her, sticking his hand out for her to shake. _Okay, so this is a handshake family._

“This is Zoey. My girlfriend.”

He could at least _sound_ a little more convincing, like it isn’t only the second time he’s said those words; she moves to his side, grabbing his hand in her own and trying to ignore the way that makes him tense up as he smiles at the room, every pair of previously disinterested eyes now on them.

“ _This_ is your girlfriend?”

 _Well, **hey**_. She’s not sure if she’s imagining how _judgemental_ his Dad’s tone is, while still being _dismissive_ , but she can’t help the indignant look that crosses her face for a second before she steels it into a _ridiculously_ fake smile; creased around the edges and sickly sweet.

“She seems perfectly fine, _sweetie._ ” What she assumes is his mother chimes in, laying a hand on his father’s arm — Zoey can’t help the bitterness she feels because she didn’t know the fact that she seems _‘perfectly fine’_ was in question at all and she can feel Leif’s hand tensing up where she’s holding it, squeezing just a little too tight. “It’s nice to meet you, honey.”

“Yeah, we were starting to think you weren’t real.” Jude chimes in with a smug look and a raise of his eyebrow. “Like he’d just made you up to avoid us or something.”

“ _Anyways,”_ Leif cuts in fast, trying not to sound suspicious or to let the guilt that he feels seep into his voice. “We’re gonna, um, bring our stuff up to our room. Away from here. Cool.”

Leif walks stiffly out of the room as she struggles to keep up with him, dropping her hand as soon as they’re out of his family’s eyesight before leaning down to grab his suitcase from the bottom of the stairs.

“I’m sorry about them,” He starts, handing her her own suitcase and backpack before starting up the stairs. “I mean, I was expecting them to - to be obnoxious, but… _wow,_ they’re already taking the cake on the whole judgement thing.”

“It’s fine,” She lies easily, shaking her head as they reach the top of the stairs. “ _I_ know I’m a catch and a half.”

He laughs lightly as he opens a nearby door, letting her in first before following and setting his stuff down on the bed. The _singular_ bed, she can’t help but notice. And she should’ve expected that, actually, considering the circumstances of coming home with him, but she hadn’t actually let herself _think_ about the whole situation too much.

“Um, I can… sleep on the floor or… or _something._ ” He says, seeming to have read the panic happening in her mind (or he’d just seen her slightly panic-filled gaze staring at the bed). “So it’s not awkward, y’know. There are plenty of guest rooms, but I think if one of us tried to sleep in one, that’d be… pretty suspicious.”

“It’s fine, we can figure that out later,” She glances apologetically at him as she sits on the edge of the bed, letting herself fall back so that she’s laying down as she tries to force the tension in her muscles to give a little bit. “I think you should maybe try to relax a bit. I don’t think it’s gonna convince them too hard that you’re in love with me if you look like you’ve seen a ghost everytime I try to hold your hand.”

Leif nods with a sigh and he looks so much taller from where she’s laying down until he moves his stuff to the floor and lays down next to her.

“ _I know_. It’s just…” There’s something present under the anxious tone of his voice, but she can’t quite place it. “I don’t know. The whole situation’s weird, maybe I _should’ve_ just told them the truth.”

“Well, in for a penny, y’know?” She nudges his arm lightly with her own and he looks over at her with a soft smile. “We’re already _here_ , we might as well try to sell it, right?”

“ _Alright,”_ He says with a soft laugh, shaking his head as he looks back up at the ceiling. “ _In for a pound, then.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments 👉🏻👈🏻🥺 comments for a poor lad, pwease?


	3. a patented donnelly family (headache) game night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i swear i'm still writing this fic and it's still very important to me i just got busy cause school started up again! this and my coder bfs happiest season au are my highest priority when i have time though and i'm having such a good time writing them! <3

They didn’t _mean_ to fall asleep. _Really._ Leif was just already so exhausted from dealing with his family for _less than ten minutes_ that when their backs had hit the bed and she had assured him that she was in it to sell this thing as long as they had to, he just… closed his eyes for a second, really just to rest them and pray that the nagging stinging behind his brow wouldn’t turn into a full on headache and then he was out. Nothing else to it.

He’s not exactly sure when Zoey fell asleep or if she made the decision to fall asleep, but he does know that when his eyes blink open and he lets them adjust to the darkness that’s now enveloped the room, she’s curled up into his side and her head is resting in the crook of his neck and he’s _not really sure_ exactly what to make of that.

He doesn’t have time to panic about _why_ that makes his heart speed up the way it does or why it causes his face to flush slightly red because before he can think about it, she’s blinking awake and _processing_ (though, admittedly, the processing does not seem to be happening _very well_ as she scrunches up her face in confusion). It takes her a second of staring into his neck before she shoots up to sit on the end of the bed and stare at the floor beneath her.

“That didn’t happen.” She remarks, nodding her head as he sits up behind her, rubbing a palm at his eye where he’s still struggling to shake the _‘nap brain fog’._ “Because it would be weird if that happened, so it… _didn’t happen.”_

_Well, that makes perfect sense._

Leif stares at the back of her head for a second, where she’s still nodding lightly, almost as if she’s trying to _justify_ waking up like that to herself.

“Okay.” He says lightly, swinging his legs off the side of the bed and letting a yawn punctuate it. “That… _didn’t happen.”_

He doesn’t bother to hide the uncertainty in his voice or the little bit of confusion he’s still feeling at her vehement aversion to talking about falling asleep together. It’s not like it _meant_ anything (at least to her, anyways).

He picks up his phone from where he’d tossed it on the bedside table and lifts it to see a series of texts from Lily.

**Lily (5:34PM): game night in an hour  
** **Lily (5:36PM): dad’s gonna be pissed if you try to skip it after how fast you ran off to “put away your stuff”  
Lily (5:37PM): i don’t blame you though bc 🤮 if i could spend less time with them right now i would  
** **Lily (5:37PM): unless you’re too busy being smitten with ur fake girlfriend who you definitely don’t like and haven’t talked my ear off about for a year now <3 **

He lets himself glare at the screen for a minute, cursing himself inwardly for _ever_ confiding in his sister about any dumb schoolyard crushes or _passing thoughts of fondness_ that mean _nothing_ in the long run (and he’s very pointedly _ignoring_ the fact that the feeling of her soft breathing hitting his neck where she was curled into him is still fresh on his skin).

**Lucky (6:03PM): Eat shit.  
** **Lucky (6:03PM): I’m sorry, _kindly_ eat shit. <3  
** **Lucky (6:04PM): We’ll be down soon.**

“They’ve got a game night planned in, uh,” He stops to check the time on his phone. “Half an hour now.”

“Cool. That sounds _fun._ I’m gonna, um… find a bathroom and freshen up.”

“There’s a bathroom in -” He cuts himself off as he’s pointing to the bathroom in the room they’re staying in, realizing that she’s already practically bolted. “In here.”

* * *

She’s pulling out her phone as she walks a couple doors down and walks into the first room with an open door, dialing Max’s number before she can think about it.

“Go for Max, saluta —” He doesn’t have time to finish the nerdy greeting that’s halfway through the phone line before Zoey cuts him off.

“Max, what if he’s a good cuddler?” She tries to ignore the panic that’s seeped into her voice as she listens to the beat of silence on the other end of the phone.

“ _What?”_

“You heard me.”

“I’m… not sure I _did.”_ Max’s voice is ripe with confusion and she can practically hear the way his face is twisted and his head is tilted to the side. “Would you mind _repeating it?_ ”

“We fell asleep when we got here and when I woke up, I was cuddled up to his side and his arm was around me and it was _nice_ and it felt _natural_ and I _liked_ it and I don’t really —”

“Have you… considered that you might like him? That I might’ve been _right_ when I told you many, many times that acquaintances don’t let their awkward smiles linger like that?”

“No. No, I have not considered that.” Zoey’s voice is tight and drawn around the words of denial. “So, you should give me a totally not smitten excuse for why it felt like that, _please.”_

 _“_ I… don’t know if I can do that, Zo.” Max says and Zoey _tries_ not to let a bitterness set in over her chest at that. “Have you thought about maybe just… _talking to him_ about it? ‘Cause I’ve seen you two. I really don’t think it’s a one way street if you feel that way.”

“I _don’t_ feel that way.”

“You don’t feel what way?” A voice drifts from behind her and she turns around swiftly to see Leif’s sister standing in the doorway with a soft, but questioning, smile resting on her lips.

“Sorry, have to go, thanks for the advice.”

“Wait, Zo —” She’s already hung up by the time he starts talking, shoving her phone into her pocket and leaning against the TV stand she’d stopped pacing next to, trying to act casual in the _least_ casual way possible.

“What are you, uh, doing up here?” She questions, readjusting the way she was leaning in an effort to be more casual and it draws an actual soft laugh out of Lily.

 _“_ Well, this happens to be my _room_ , Red.”

“ _Oh,_ uh, I wasn’t - I mean, I was just - I was looking for a bathroom and Leif told me where one was but I couldn’t remember so, I, uh - I’m here and I -”

“You can chill out, I know you’re not dating and you probably don’t wanna spend every waking hour with Lucky.” _And there’s that nickname again._ She’s _gonna_ have to ask him about that nickname. But, more importantly, _what?_ “I just needed to grab some ibuprofen before game night. These things can turn into a real headache with the Donnelly family.”

“Oh. You know. I mean, _you know?_ How do you - how did -” Zoey’s mystified stuttering is ( _thankfully)_ cut off before she can embarrass herself even more.

“Leif told me before you guys came. Well, technically he told me he was bringing _you_ before you guys came. The whole fake girlfriend thing in the first place was kind of my idea.”

“ _Oh._ That… would’ve been nice for him to tell _me.”_

“Well, for how freakin’ smart he is, he’s never had the most _common sense._ ” Lily punctuates the sentence with a look that Zoey can’t quite decipher; she can just tell that it’s _knowing_ and a little humorous and it confuses her more than anything else about this conversation or the fact that Leif straight up forgot to _tell her_ that another member of his family was _in on it_ already has.

“Does… _anyone_ _else_ know? Did he tell Alex or Jude or -“

“Well, since I’m pretty sure I can definitively say that I’m the only member of our family he actually _trusts_ or _likes_ or _can bear to spend any time around,_ I’m gonna say… _no.”_

“ _Okay.”_ Zoey nods her head a little awkwardly as Lily moves into the room and grabs the bottle of ibuprofen from her bedside table, a thoughtful expression resting on her face as she glances back at Zoey. “I’m just gonna - uh, gonna go back to Leif’s room. _Okay.”_

* * *

About twenty minutes later, Leif and Zoey head down to the living room to find his siblings, their spouses and his parents sitting around the rather large coffee table with a monopoly board set up and Leif’s stomach _sinks._

First off, he _loves_ monopoly. Second, and much more importantly, monopoly brings out the _absolute worst_ of his competitive side and he’s _certain_ that if their game night is Monopoly, he’s gonna do _something_ to embarrass himself in front of Zoey. Which shouldn’t _matter_ , but unfortunately, Leif’s never been the best at listening to the logical side of his brain when it’s not feeding him definitions or lines of code.

“Couples monopoly!” His dad’s voice booms through the living room as Zoey and Leif sit down next to each other on the floor; Leif’s eyes move to catch Lily’s with a raise of his eyebrows. “We’re each gonna play as a team, doesn’t that sound fun?”

“So I guess I’ll just play with the dog?” Lily rolls her eyes as she sits down between Zoey and Leif and Alex and his wife.

“You’ll play on your own. You’re honestly good enough at this game to beat any of us without a teammate, sweetheart,” Her mom’s sickly sweet voice chimes in before turning her attention to Zoey. “The horror stories I have of this one and Leif playing when they were young, I could’ve sworn they would tear each other apart.”

Leif feels the warmth in his face and he knows there’s gotta be a red flush to his cheeks as Zoey looks at him with her eyebrows raised as his mom casually exposes his competitive side.

“Oh, come on, we weren’t that bad.” Leif’s tone is nonchalant as he tries to avoid eye contact with Zoey; if he’s not looking at her, she can’t see how embarrassed he is, right?

“Leif,” Alex’s voice chimes in. “One time we had to stay up until four in the morning because you two were just trading rent money back and forth and neither of you would concede. You both had to win.”

“That’s not - we didn’t _—”_

“We totally did.” Lily says with a smile and an elbow into Leif’s side. “Who wants to be banker?”

And so, the game begins.

Leif finds out very swiftly that he had _absolutely no reason_ to be embarrassed, because as soon as properties are being bought and people are going to jail and spaces are being auctioned, Zoey is just as much of a monster as he is.

Halfway through, he’s about ninety percent sure he’s about to watch Zoey actually _fight_ Alex for the Boardwalk property when he feels his phone buzz in his pocket and he pulls it out to look at it.

**Lily (8:02PM): wow you guys really work well together, huh?**

He’s never gonna know peace, huh?

**Lucky (8:03PM): I’ve never hated you more than I do right now. ❤  
** **Lily (8:03PM): you love me actually  
** **Lily (8:03PM): at least i’m not alex <3  
** **Lucky (8:04PM): At least Alex is too preoccupied fighting my girlfriend to be an ass right now.  
** **Lucky (8:04PM): You, on the other hand.  
** **Lily (8:05PM): oh i see we’ve dropped the fake off of girlfriend  
** **Lily (8:05PM): leif and zoey sitting in a tree  
** **Lucky (8:05PM): You’re literally a child. Eight years old. _At most._**

Leif’s attention is caught and taken away from his phone by Zoey nudging his shoulder before she rolls the dice for their turn and… gets them sent straight to jail.

“Oh, _shit,”_ The expletive leaves her mouth effortlessly and she doesn’t even seem to process it until she hears Leif’s mom scoff a little bit and make a comment about _‘language’._ (And _really?_ It’s not like they’re not all _adults_ here.) “Oh, uh, _sorry.”_

Leif looks back down at his phone when the dice are passed to Lily with a sigh.

**Lily (8:05PM): ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤  
** **Lily (8:05PM): im a child and youre a simp, it’s the facts of the life**  
**Lucky (8:07PM): Please never use the word ‘simp’ again.  
** **Lily (8:09PM): no ❤**

The rest of the game goes without much incident (that is to say, the _normal_ amount of incident for a Donnelly game of Monopoly, which usually includes at least one sibling throwing _an amount_ of money or the dice or a game piece or… really anything that can _be_ thrown), besides an incessant stream of teasing texts from Lily and an equal amount of texts back from Leif detailing how exactly she’s the worst sibling he’s ever met (a patently _false_ fact, she knows, as she’s met their _other_ siblings).

By the time the game is over and cleaned up (and _won_ by Zoey and Leif, _thank you very much)_ and they’ve made their way back up to the room, they’re both more than worn out.

“That was actually kind of fun,” Zoey remarks as she exits the bathroom in a pair of grey sweatpants and a NASA t-shirt. “Not all of it. A _good chunk_ of it wasn’t, actually. But winning was fun.”

“Yeah,” Leif lets out a soft laugh as he pulls back the covers on the bed and flops down, finally letting himself relax a little bit, letting the tension drain from his shoulders as Zoey lays down cautiously on the bed next to him. “ _Winning was fun.”_

They lay in an awkward silence for a second, both pairs of eyes meeting the ceiling above them.

“We can just share the bed, right? It’s only weird if we make it weird?” Leif posits, turning his head to meet her gaze where she manages to nod both strongly and with an unsure air about it.

“ _Yeah,_ totally. _It’s only weird if we make it weird.”_

“ _Yeah,_ okay. Cool.”

Leif looks back up at the ceiling and nods his own head, almost like he’s trying to convince _himself_ of how not weird it is, especially after how they’d woken up earlier in the day. _It’s fine. Probably._ And if it’s not fine, that’s a problem for future Leif and Zoey, because present Leif is _really_ tired and already feels his eyes drifting closed as he rolls over onto his side.

If he wakes up to Zoey pressed against his back, arm wrapped tight around his torso, he’s not gonna question just why he wants to pretend to still be asleep and enjoy it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i do love comments,,,, and kudos,,,, but i love comments more 🥺


	4. i'm only human (and i crash and i break down)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so im gonna start this out by saying im well aware the drama in this chapter is not realistic like. at all. in any sense of the word, however, when i started this fic i had just watched like an entire season of gilmore girls and also its my shitty trope-y fic and i can do what i want
> 
> that said, i do hope you enjoy this chapter its Juicy

Leif didn’t expect the actual day of Christmas Eve to be _easy_ by any means, but he also didn’t expect to be wracked with nerves for the whole day. It’s not like they’ve not been spending time with and getting to know Zoey already (no matter how clear his Dad’s made it how little he _wants_ to be doing either of those), but Christmas Eve is like… _an actual event._ And it’s always been a big deal to the Donnelly’s, ever since he was a kid, even though he’d stopped going the past couple of years; they’d have close friends and friends of those close friends over for dinner, they’d dance in the living room by the fire and everyone would have _fun_. It’s the closest he thinks he ever gets to feeling like his family is a _family_ , full of warmth and love and admiration for each other.

He thinks passively of Christmas Eve’s of days not-so long ago when his brothers had brought their now wives and they had been accepted into the family with semi-reluctant but nonetheless _open_ arms. So what was so different about his fake girlfriend? It’s not like they _know_ they’re not actually dating and Zoey’s a goddamn _delight_. Can’t they just give him, like, an _ounce_ of pride? Or _acceptance_ , at the very, very least?

“You okay?” Zoey’s voice breaks him out of his own thoughts as she exits the bathroom in a simple black dress with her hair tied back and _wow._ The nerves are swiftly replaced by something else as he looks at her with a heavy swallow, fully aware how much he probably looks like a deer in the headlights right now as she looks at him expectantly and _worriedly._

“Yeah.” He lies, not-so-easily, shaking his head to clear the thoughts that were clouding it, a tiny quaver pushing through his voice as slightly shaky hands place a light blue floral tie around his neck and start to tie an easy, skinny knot on auto-pilot. “Why wouldn’t I be okay?”

“Maybe because your hands are shaking like you decided to try drugs for the first time last night and you just hardcore messed up a tie knot I’ve seen you wear for _years.”_

He stares for another second before glancing down at the half-done tie knot and looking back up at Zoey.

“Okay. _Yeah._ Fair enough.” He sighs, undoing the knot and sinking down pitifully onto the bed, placing his head into his hands and letting his tense posture drop forward. “I guess - I guess I’m just _nervous_. I mean, you’re _literally_ perfect and Richard’s still being an _ass_ and I just…” He looks up, lacing his fingers where they rest in front of his knees. “I know this started as a way to get _out_ of family things, but I guess there was a part of me that thought if I _actually_ brought someone, someone I was sure they’d _like_ , that they’d… I don’t know, be proud of me, be _happy for me_. And you’re _great._ By every metric, my dad should love you. Why doesn’t he _love_ you?”

“Well, I’m not sure about _perfect.”_ She tries to detract from the blush that’s coloring her cheeks with a wave of her hand and a passive facial expression as she walks towards him, reaching to place a hand on his shoulder before deciding against it and dropping it awkwardly by her side. “I wish I had better advice. Or _any_ advice, actually - I’d kind of like to know why your dad doesn’t like me, too. I’m a catch and a half, Richard, _come on._ ”

He shakes his head again, though her (mostly) faux anger manages to draw a laugh from him before he lets a breath out of his chest and moves to lace his fingers behind his neck, stretching with the movement.

“It’s whatever. Let’s just… _make it through tonight._ And then we can go back to San Francisco and forget about all of this till next year where I’ll tell them that we broke up over the summer or something, I don’t know.”

He lets his arms fall back into his lap, glancing up to an unreadable expression on Zoey’s face.

“Yeah.” There’s a weird hardness to her voice, like she’s too far inside her own head and he really doesn’t know what to make of that, so he chooses not to make _anything_ of it, pushing it to the back of his mind. “ _Yeah,_ we’ll just… forget all about it.”

A silence lingers over them, heavy with words unsaid, though neither of them really know what those words _are_ at the moment, until Zoey steps forward with a sigh, grabbing the tie where it hangs around his neck.

“Here,” She starts to carefully tie a simple knot and he prays that she can’t hear the way his breath hitches in his throat and that she doesn’t notice the fact that he can’t look away from the gentle smile resting on her face as she finishes the knot and pats his chest, before glancing up slowly to make eye contact. “Handsome as ever.”

If a blush colors his cheeks, neither of them acknowledge it as he stands up and squares his shoulders, defensive posture readying himself for a night with his family.

“Let’s do this.” He says, the confidence in his voice as Zoey smiles up at him betraying the shaky nerves swimming around in his stomach as he offers his elbow and she slips her hand into it naturally. “What’s the worst that can happen?”

“Was that a genuine question? I can give you a list.”

He tries to fight the slight smile that brings to his lips, but he can’t, letting a laugh slip from the back of his throat as they start to head downstairs.

“I think I’ve got the list.”

* * *

Dinner goes… _surprisingly well._ It’s not **perfect** by any means, but a Donnelly family dinner is never _going_ to be and Leif learned years ago not to expect that. But it’s _passable_.

There’s a minimal amount of passive aggression (that’s not to say there’s _none_ , but it’s _considerably_ better for his parents to be passive aggressively pushing him towards marriage than passive aggressively telling him his girlfriend isn’t good enough for them; though, sometimes it’s _both,_ as he recalls his father actually uttering the words _“I mean, if it has to be her, you could at least seal the deal”_ followed swiftly by a hissed _“Richard.”_ and a stern look from his mother), they’re seated across from Lily who keeps them in good spirits and at least makes them laugh by making faces at every pompous thing that’s said around the table, and he has the chance to see several kids of his parent’s friends that he’d at least considered _acquaintances_ for most of his life.

On the whole, he’s feeling pretty okay when everybody moves into the living room while an old Elvis track warbles from a record player in the corner of the room. He convinces Zoey to dance for a little bit, insisting that it’s to help sell how much they like each other, but the selfish part of his heart knows that that has nothing to do with it and his family would believe they were in love just as well if they sat on the couch with his arm around her. It’s a little awkward, as she has to reach up to rest her arms around his neck and he has to slouch down to wrap his around the small of her back, but it’s _nice_ and he’s not gonna pretend his stomach isn’t filled with nervous butterflies when they stumble over their own feet and she giggles into his chest, moving her arms from around his neck to rest against his chest.

“ _No,_ okay, _you_ need to lead.”

“I _am_ leading, I don’t know what’s —”

“Leif,” His father’s voice cuts into their confused back-and-forth, grabbing both of their attentions and making Leif drop his arms from around her and step back, less in reaction to his Dad and more in realizing _exactly_ how close they’d been as a blush frames his cheeks. “Can I steal you for a minute? I’d like to give you your present.”

“Um,” He hesitates, eyes flicking down to meet Zoey’s before looking back at his Dad with an anxious and disconcerted look resting on his face. “ _Okay.”_

He starts to walk with his Dad, glancing behind him to see Lily pulling Zoey off to the side to chat and it makes him feel better to know he’s at least not throwing her to the wolves by leaving her behind while he talks to his Dad.

“Alright, now I want you to hear me out before you react to what I’m about to say, okay?” Richard says when they stop by the fireplace and he grabs two flutes of champagne from a passing waiter, handing one to Leif.

“That’s… a comforting way to start a conversation.” Leif responds, trying to hide the nervous edge to his voice as he sips from the champagne, grateful at least for something to do with his hands.

“Listen, I know you love Zoey, but we both know she’s not exactly marriage material.”

_Okay_ , not a great start to the _‘hearing him out before reacting’_ thing as Leif’s face twists up in judgement at that (he thinks he’s _justified_ to not hear him out when _that’s_ what he leads with).

“So, my present to you is someone who is.”

_**What?** _

“That’s —”

He’s cut off by his father holding up a finger in a ‘one moment’ gesture and moving to tap a girl behind him on the shoulder before leading her over to Leif.

“ _Anna,_ this is Leif, my, uh - _semi_ -successful son I was telling you about.”

Leif’s eyes dart between his dad and _Anna,_ disbelief painted in every line of his face as Anna sticks a hand out for him to shake and to her credit, she seems about as enthused about the introduction as he does, an apathetic smile resting on her lips.

“You…” He starts, stopping to take a breath in as the features of his face contort while he processes exactly _how_ he should respond to this (and how the hell is he _supposed_ to respond to this?!). “You’ve done some ridiculous things, but this… really takes the cake, _wow.”_

“You don’t wanna marry Zoey, Leif.” He states it so matter-of-factly that it makes something Leif can’t really identify stir around in his stomach, an indignant look crossing his face. “She’s not good enough for this family. You know this, I know this. And I’m not gonna pretend I don’t notice you fighting day and night for my approval, Leif. This is how you can get it.”

“Are you _**kidding**_ me?” He’s louder than he means to be and he notices a few heads turn towards them as he raises his voice. “Not good en — this is _unbelievable.”_

“ _Leif.”_ His father’s voice is stern and _surprised?_ What the hell is surprising about this? How did he _expect him to react?_ “Why are you making a scene?”

“ _Why am I_ — oh my _god,_ because I’ve been telling you for _two years_ that I have a girlfriend and that we’re _very happy_ , thank you very much, and you still try to set me up with every bozo daughter of your rich friends that you can.” His voice is louder now and there are _many_ more eyes on them now, including Zoey’s and Lily’s from across the room and the poor, poor girl his father had brought over to him who, to her credit, actually has the hint of a laugh dancing at the corners of her lips. And _also to her credit_ , she’s smart enough to not let that hint become anything more than a hint in front of his father. “I’m sorry, you’re not a bozo, you seem very nice, actually. This is all just… _bullshit._ ”

“Leif, _please_ ,” His mother joins his father’s side now, glancing around nervously at all of the eyes that have drifted to focus on the raised voices and tense postures by the fireplace. “Calm down and listen to your father.”

“No. _No,_ I’m - I’m tired of passively accepting every shitty thing you say and nodding along and letting things happen because I want - because I want you to be _proud_ of me or _acknowledge my existence_ past _wanting me to do better._ Zoey is _great._ No, Zoey is _brilliant_ and _extraordinary._ She’s - She’s kind and _caring_ and she might not be the most patient person ever and she might swear like a sailor, but _fuck it_ , right? Don’t we all? Aren’t we all just putting on a front here?” He gestures towards the room full of people that’s gone quiet now as his manic voice raises above everything else. “To - to what? To make ourselves look better? To impress each other with our pristine houses and perfectly behaved children? You’re telling me Jared’s never done anything wrong?” He gestures to a classmate from high school that’s standing with his parents behind the couch, eyes wide with the attention suddenly on him, cocktail shrimp inches away from his mouth. “I’ve seen that dude do three different drugs. At once. During a school play. _No one_ in this room has any room to judge anyone else.”

“ _Leif.”_ His mom tries again, reaching to place a hand on his arm that he jerks away.

“ _No._ If you’re gonna treat me like a kid, you could at least treat me like _your_ kid.” He downs the rest of the champagne glass and shoves it towards his father, who’s too shocked by not only the words that have just poured out of Leif’s mouth, but the tone he’d taken, to not take it without question. “I know you love me, but you could act like you _like me._ At all.”

Steely eyes meet his parents’ shocked ones and he suddenly loses the adrenaline that was fueling his confidence, taking all of his energy to not shrink in on himself and retract everything he’d said when he sees the tears in his mom’s eyes as she shakes her head lightly, disappointment more present than anything else.

“I’m gonna,” He starts, trying to ignore the shake in his voice and avoiding eye contact with either of his parents. “I’m gonna go.”

He practically bolts towards the stairs, his legs taking him on autopilot as nausea hits his head, praying he can make it to somewhere he can be alone before he passes out or barfs up all the shitty hors d'oeuvres he’d had.

_Yelling at his Dad was **not** on his Christmas to-do list. _Yelling at his Dad _in front of all of his Dad’s friends?_ **Even less** on his to-do list. He’s really gotten himself into some deep shit here. _And_ , he realizes as he rushes into the nearest bathroom to dry heave, he’d left Zoey with the aftermath down there. He only prays that she’d stuck with Lily, who at least knows how to handle his family.

* * *

Zoey doesn’t really know what to think as she and Lily watch Leif practically run up the stairs, leaving his parents’ shocked and slightly offended faces behind him.

“That… might be the coolest thing he’s ever done.” Lily comments incredulously, her eyes falling back to where his Mom is now shaking her head melodramatically, saying something unintelligible to his father now that noise in the room has picked up again, chatter surrounding them, mostly about Leif’s outburst.

“Should I go check on him?” Zoey finally manages to tear her eyes from the staircase to look at Lily next to her as she hands her the champagne glass in her hand and nods a little awkwardly. “I’m gonna go check on him. That seems like the kind of thing you should check on people after.”

Lily smiles and nods, setting both champagne flutes on a nearby tray as Zoey starts to walk towards the stairs. She tries to ignore the few stray pairs of eyes on her as she makes her way upstairs, but there’s a bitterness that sets under her chest at just how _nosy_ these people are.

She’s a little disappointed when she makes it to the room they’d been sharing and doesn’t see him there, but she’s not really sure where else he’d have gone and she doesn’t actually trust herself to not get _lost_ trying to wander around the house to find him.

So, she decides to wait around. And, in the meantime, she can get some _advice,_ as she’s pulled out her phone and dialed Max before she can think too hard about it.

“ _Zoey_ , hey.” Max answers the phone and she can’t help but notice that he sounds _distracted_ , like he’s moving around while he’s talking.

“Is this a bad time?”

“No, no,” She hears him drop something and swear away from the phone. “I’m just making dinner. Dropped a knife. Didn’t lose any appendages, though, so I’m gonna call it a win.”

“I can call back later,” She says hesitantly, before he cuts her off with another emphatic _‘nah’._

“Seriously, you’re good, what’s up?”

“Um… Kind of a _lot._ ” She realizes once she’s started talking that she doesn’t actually know _why_ she called Max. Everything she’s feeling right now is kind of just jumbled up into one ball of _‘concerned about Leif’_ with a side of _‘hating Leif’s dad_ ’ and she doesn’t really think that’s gonna go away until she talks to him or sees his soft, hesitant smile. And she _especially_ doesn’t know what advice she thinks Max could give on it. But she’ll pick his brain anyways, if anything to at least hear a comforting voice. “Leif just yelled at his Dad. In front of an entire party of people.”

She knows she _should_ say more than that, she should _definitely_ give more context than that, instead of just making Leif sound like an ass, but she’s _kind of_ still processing it herself.

“Was there… a _reason_ for the yelling?”

“I mean, his Dad was being an ass. I couldn’t… I was on the other side of the room, I don’t know exactly what happened, but it was…” She hesitates, toying with the blanket beneath her where she’s sat down with her legs crossed on the bed. “It was about me. About him dating me.”

“Hey, I’ll kick his ass if I need to. It would be a very pathetic fight, but I _would_ fight. You didn’t _have_ to go there with him.”

“No, _no,_ ” Zoey shakes her head, but she at least lets herself laugh a little bit at the image of a _Leif vs. Max_ fight. She’s not even sure who would win there (perhaps _no one;_ Max may be _stronger_ , but he wouldn’t hurt a fly, especially a Leif-shaped one). “It wasn’t - he wasn’t the one that was… his dad hates me. I don’t know why, he just does, and Leif… I don’t know, he like… _defended my honor._ It was honestly… kinda _sexy._ ”

“I think I get what you’re putting down here, but please _never_ say ‘sexy’ while we’re talking about Leif again.”

“ _I’ll try,”_ Zoey laughs again and shakes her head. “He’s… _somewhere_ now and I don’t know if he’s okay, but I don’t know this house anywhere near well enough to find him and I just… I’m not really sure what to do or if I _should_ do anything, but I’m _worried_.”

“It sounds an awful lot like you care about him, Zo.”

Max really doesn’t _have_ to sound so smug and sure of himself when he says it, implying what he’s been implying for _months_ and what Zoey can’t _really_ deny anymore as she examines the swirling worry behind her navel and the awfully confusing way she’d felt watching him yell at his father in _her_ defense of a relationship that doesn’t even exist.

“ _Max.”_

“ _Zoey.”_ Silence hangs through the line as Zoey takes a deep breath. “I’m not exactly hearing any denials coming from you this time.”

“I don’t think I _can_ deny it.” She sounds resigned when she finally speaks, shaking her head. “I just don’t —”

She cuts herself off when she hears something in the background on the other end.

“Is someone else there?”

“Yeah, actually.” Max states, like it’s _not_ weird for him not to have mentioned that when he picked up the phone. “I was trying to tell you last time you called, but you kind of hung up. I talked to the new guy the other day in the game area, he’s super cool, and we’ve started hanging out. We’re watching old wrestling matches, it’s kind of nice.”

“ _Over dinner?”_ The teasing voice that she’s been on the receiving end of _so often_ recently feels nice to aim back at him.

“It’s not like that, Zo, he’s _engaged.”_

_“Oh.”_

_“_ I was disappointed, too. But he’s genuinely super nice and I’m just glad to be his friend, anyway. Plus, his fiancee’s the nicest brit ever, she’s gonna teach me how to make, _and I quote,_ ‘the best quiche she’s ever had’.”

“That sounds nice,” Zoey says, a genuine tone in her voice as she smiles, grateful for the brief distraction from everything _Donnelly family related._ She’s dragged right back into reality, though, when she hears soft footsteps echoing through the hallway outside the room she’s in. “I’ve gotta go. Um, thanks for letting me talk your ear off.”

“I’m always here. See you in a couple days?”

“See you in a couple days.”

She hangs up with a sigh, making an attempt to let the tension out of her shoulders as Leif wanders back into the room, his eyes widening in surprise when he sees Zoey sitting on the bed.

“Hey… _you.”_ The awkwardness rolls off his tongue as he walks the rest of the way into the room, hesitancy in his posture. “Sorry. Um, about that. Downstairs. That was…” He sounds resigned, more than anything, a sadness nagging at the back of his voice as he shoves his hands in his pockets, lanky awkwardness towering in anxiety. “I don’t know what that was, actually.”

"It was... _interesting._ That's for sure." 

"It was _dumb._ I shouldn't have yelled like that, I just..." The frustration he's feeling easily infiltrates his voice, drawing it out in a rougher fashion than she's used to hearing. "It’s just _fucked_ that I brought you to _impress_ them and _nothing_ is good enough for them. Not even literally the perfect girlfriend can meet their expectations, it’s ridicul —”

“The _perfect_ girlfriend?”

“Oh. I didn’t mean — I just meant, um…” He trails off, taking his hand and rubbing the back of his neck, the nervous energy still hovering around him as he racks his brain for actual words to say. “You’re… _great_ and they’re dumb.”

“I’d really think _you_ would have a better word than dumb.”

“They’re… _cretinous._ ” He lets a smile slip through now, shaking his head as he sits down on the bed and lets the silence hang over them for a second as Zoey shifts from the middle of the bed to make room for him. After a couple seconds, he speaks again, subdued and dejected. “They’re never gonna be proud of me, are they?”

“I mean, I wouldn’t say _nev_ —”

“That wasn’t… an actual question.” He shakes his head with a melancholic air about it, icy blue eyes staring down at his hands in his lap and it fills her chest with an urge to _protect him_ and take away that feeling of sadness, though it’s an urge that she immediately pushes to the back of her mind and labels _‘deal with later’. “_ I know they’re not.”

“I’m not gonna tell you not to care. That’s dumb, you’re gonna _care._ But… You laid down some truths down there, Leif. These people _suck._ And you _shouldn’t_ care what they think about you, you’re just… you’re better than them. And I know that doesn’t actually _help,_ but…”

“Thanks, anyway.” He’s still staring at his hands, face drawn tight and she can’t really tell if he’s about to cry or not. She’s not sure what she’ll do if he starts crying, honestly. “I just… I get that they’re never gonna be _proud_ of me, but they could at least… _respect_ me. I literally _have a girlfriend_ and he brings me a girl he thinks I should _look into marrying,_ as if that’s how any of this works.”

“I mean, you don’t… _actually_ have a girlfriend, though.”

He pauses, mouth opening and closing for a second with an unreadable expression on his face as he stops to think.

“No, I… I _know._ It’s the…” His face contorts with the words, his shoulders shrugging lightly and exasperatedly. “It’s the _principle.”_

“Leif,” Zoey starts, her voice laced with hesitancy. “Can I ask you something that I’m not sure if I wanna know the answer to?”

“Um,” He gives her a thoughtful look, confused and a little _scared._ “Yeah, I guess.”

“Why… do you _care_ so much that they don’t like me? It doesn’t… It doesn’t feel like it’s just about them being proud of you.”

The question makes him squirm, suddenly uncomfortable in his own skin as he averts his eyes, all of a sudden finding a lot of interest in the door directly across from them.

“Honestly?” His voice is cracked around the edges, punctuating the question with a heavy swallow that catches her eye on his Adam’s apple before she quickly averts her eyes, too, not really prepared to watch him if they’re gonna have this conversation. “I think _I_ like you, like… a _serious_ like and I… I guess I thought that if _they_ liked you that it would be some weird validation thing, I don’t… I don’t know.”

“So… you _like me?_ Like… _legit_ like me?”

He hesitates, letting a breath out of his chest.

“Yeah.” He says it so straightforwardly, like he’s never been more sure of anything and it makes her _jealous._ To know what he’s feeling, to not have this angry swirling of confusion through his heart like she does, to be able to make sense of the emotions he feels. _To be so sure._ “I… I know you probably don’t feel the same and you’re just doing me… the world’s _biggest_ favor here and that’s _fine,_ I just... “ He stops himself, seeming to steel himself and rethink what he was gonna say. “I probably shouldn’t have even asked you to come, this was… so shortsighted, _wow.”_

“Leif…” She really wishes she knew what to say, that she could think of _anything_ to say that’s not the dispirited way she says his name, anything that could make him feel better without sorting through the mess that encompasses her own feelings.

He stands up unexpectedly, stiff awkwardness returning with an air of embarrassment around it now, face drawn tight in something that she can’t quite read. Fear, sadness, _dejectedness?_

“I’m gonna, um… I’m gonna get some air.”

He gesticulates for a second, hand waving by his head before it drops to his side and he walks out of the room with his hands shoved back in his pockets, shoulders drooped forward and she wants to follow him, call after him, tell him that those feelings are _not_ a one way street, she just needs _time to think,_ but none of that comes out; she feels frozen to the bed, eyes glued on the door where he’s just left, guilt brewing in her stomach at the crestfallen posture he’d held on his way out. _Wow. This is… **not** how she’d imagined the night would go when they’d woken up together that morning._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments 👉🏻👈🏻 im a poor soul starved for comments and feedback 👉🏻👈🏻


	5. you say you're in hell (well, has it occurred to you to leave?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two chapters in two days? i can think abt nothing but this fic right now thank u

The first thing she thinks when she manages to get her head on straight and tear her eyes away from the door is that she _really cannot be falling for Leif._ Leif is… Leif is the perfect friend, all awkward smiles that linger a little too long and stuttering and meaning well but messing up and she is _not_ falling for Leif. Except that she’s very much falling for Leif. _Fuck._

And now he’s _moping_ somewhere that she’s not even sure if she could find if she tried because she hadn’t known, in that moment, how to articulate that. She owed him an ‘ _I need time to think about how I feel’,_ at the very least.

_Alright, thinking cap, Zoey. He said he needed air. That means outside. He’s either out front, out back, or on that rooftop balcony you saw. Or he’s gone for a walk and you **actually** have no chance of finding him, but that’s a bridge to cross when you get there._

So, checklist one: check the balcony. It’s on the way to the other two places, it’s close by so it’s likely he’d have gone there, and, in her humble opinion, it’s a prime moping location.

After a couple minutes of wandering, she finds where she'd seen the balcony and she can’t even quantify the relief she feels when she approaches the doors and sees a figure laying on the ground through the segmented windows. _Bingo._

She opens the door carefully and he doesn’t seem to hear it, his hands laced behind his head, staring up at the sky, seemingly too far into his own head, yet _peaceful_ in a weird way.

He finally looks towards her when her soft footsteps move toward him and past his head, laying silently on the other side of him and looking up with him, crossing her arms over her chest in a vain attempt to block the cold wind from hitting her and taking in the stars above them as silence surrounds them, the only sounds coming from the wind whipping around them and an only _slightly_ annoying owl somewhere in the woods.

“You, uh,” He starts a couple minutes after she joins him, breaking the silence like a machete, slicing it unevenly with the awkward timbre of his voice. “You can’t quite see as many stars in the city as you can out here.”

Zoey glances over at him carefully, watches how his eyes are locked upwards, body tense against the concrete of the roof, jaw drawn tight in what she _assumes_ is anxiety.

“ _Yeah.”_ She agrees easily, glancing back towards the shining night sky. “It’s kind of beautiful.”

“I’m sorry.” Leif says, still locking eyes with the sky, motionless except for the soft breaths making his chest rise and fall. “I… I shouldn’t have asked you to help me with this, knowing how I felt, knowing what my family is like, it was… it was a shit show waiting to happen.”

“I’m not.”

He finally glances over at her, eyebrows scrunched into a confused expression.

“You’re not… what?”

“I’m not sorry you invited me.” Zoey sounds a lot more sure than she feels as she looks away from the sky and towards Leif, taking in the way his face shifts, though it doesn’t shift _away_ from confusion. “Listen, I… I definitely like you, too. And if you hadn’t invited me here, I don’t think I ever would’ve realized that. And I’m… I’m very scared and I’m very unsure in every possible definition of the word, _but…_ I do know that I have feelings for you and you deserve to know that, at least, even if I don’t know… _exactly_ what they mean, yet.”

“Um… _Wow_. Okay.” He nods lightly, a small smile gracing his face as he looks back towards the stars, a little bit of the tension he’d been holding draining out of his shoulders. “That’s… Um, _thank you._ I think.”

A more comfortable silence falls over them as Zoey looks back up towards the sky, too, and they both let that peaceful feeling wash over them, observing how small they both are in comparison to the cosmos and it’s a comfort to Zoey. No matter how confused or conflicted she feels in the moment, it’s _small._ It doesn’t matter. She could kiss Leif or leave him out to dry right now and it would either be a mistake or it wouldn’t, but they’d both move on and the world would keep turning and the stars would keep burning, 40,208,000,000,000 kilometers away from them, and it’d be _okay._

Her thoughts are interrupted by a _shiver_ , her skin crawling at a particularly strong gust of wind across the roof and the movement draws his eyes back over to her.

“Are you cold?”

“ _A little bit._ ”

“C’mere.”

Before she has time to process it, he’s scooting over and maneuvering both of them so that his arm is resting around her and she’s pressed into his side, natural body warmth bringing an immediate ounce of reprieve to the cold chills against her skin.

It’s… _nice._ To be held, to rest her head on his shoulder and look up at the stars. As he holds her and their soft breathing aligns, she thinks of something that she hadn’t quite considered. She and Leif are _mutually soluble_ \- where she once would’ve thought they were like oil and vinegar, alike in some ways but easily separated, fundamentally different where if you tried to force them together, they would separate within hours. She finds now that the more she gets to know him, the more she finds that she _likes_ spending time with him and curling up into his side and hearing him laugh when she makes a dumb joke that _should not_ earn a laugh, the more akin they are to coffee and milk. Absorbed in each other, perfectly blended together, and once they’re stirred together, you can’t really separate them. She doesn’t really know if she _wants_ to separate them.

She breaks herself out of her own head, a little more certain about how she feels the longer she lays on his shoulder with his arm around her.

“Hey, can I ask you something that’s kind of been bugging me all week?”

“Um,” He adjusts his head to look down at her for a second before placing it carefully back against the concrete. “ _Go for it.”_

“Why does Lily keep calling you _‘Lucky’_?”

“ _Oh, god.”_ An embarrassed laugh pushes out of his chest as he locks eyes with the stars again, shaking his head as she pushes herself up to look at him. “Okay, um, _if_ I tell you this, you’re gonna be the only person outside of my family and Tobin to know. Well… _and a class of third graders.”_

“Okay, well now I _have_ to know.” Zoey laughs as she says it, moving her hand to lay across his chest, fiddling with a button on his shirt and trying to ignore the soft way his eyes catch on hers as a blush colors his cheeks.

“Alright, um… _God,_ in my defense, I was _nine._ But I… may or may not have tried to convince my third grade class that I was related to Lucky the leprechaun and then, subsequently, when they didn’t _believe me,_ that I _was_ Lucky the leprechaun.”

“You mean the —” She has to stifle a laugh, bringing her hand from his chest to cover her mouth for a second before dropping it to rest on his arm. “The Lucky Charms mascot?”

“I do mean the Lucky Charms mascot.” He shakes his head as she laughs again and drops back into the crook of his neck, letting her hand move back to his chest where she can feel his heart beating lightly through the plain white button up he’d donned for the party, a departure from the bright, quirky shirts she’s used to seeing him in.

“Leif, you’re _blonde.”_

“Hey,” He laughs with the word, shaking his head and bringing his hand to rub lightly at her shoulder. “I never claimed to be a _smart_ nine year old, I just claimed to be a nine year old who was very, _very_ desperate for attention. And Lily still won’t let me live it down after a decade and a half, so… I’ve gotten my _comeuppance_ for that.”

She manages to stifle the honest-to-god _giggle_ that brings up against his chest, abandoning the pretense of stargazing now to fully cuddle into his side as another silence falls over them, more comfortable than the last as Leif’s fingers brush idly against her shoulder and she listens to his soft heartbeat and it feels _natural_ , like she’s been by his side all her life and it’s all she’s ever known. It’s _not_ all she’s ever known and she’s simultaneously well aware of how _new_ this is and how scared it makes her feel, but it’s significantly harder to give into that fear when all she can hear is a steady heartbeat accompanied by the shallow breaths of someone she feels genuinely _comfortable_ with.

“I like this. More than I probably should.” Zoey’s soft voice breaks the silence, though neither of them move at all, save Leif’s hand still rubbing her shoulder slackly.

“Me, too.”

Zoey moves now, pushing up to look at his face and letting a soft smile rest on her own. He gives her a thoughtful look as she just looks at him. _Really_ looks at him and the way his eyebrows draw in on themselves in confusion, contorting his whole face as he cocks his head to the side and she’s kissing him before she can process that she _wants_ to be.

It’s soft and she pulls away after only a second, immediately observing his face carefully to see a reaction; where she expects to see _shock_ or _confusion,_ she just sees him _smile_ before he leans up to kiss her again and it feels _needier_ , his hand moving to tangle in the back of her hair and pull her closer to him, like he’s been waiting a lifetime for this.

She pulls away after a moment, running her thumb over his cheekbone and then the scar in his eyebrow, tender and caring as she looks down at him.

“Let’s leave.”

“What?”

She shrugs her shoulders as much as she can while she’s holding herself up on his chest, like it’s the most obvious solution in the world.

“Let’s get out of here. We can make it back to the city in time for Christmas night. I understand if you don’t wanna spend it with _my_ family but I’m sure Tobin’s free. I _know_ Max is free and you deserve to have fun and spend some time with people you like. Or mostly like. You like Tobin. You like _me.”_

She watches his face carefully as he processes the proposition, her eyebrows raised in anticipation. The longer he takes to respond, the _dumber_ she feels like the idea is. _Of course_ , she knows leaving isn’t the _best_ solution, but she thinks it might be the healthiest _for him._ Staying here and trying to win over his parents is very clearly not doing _any_ of them any favors.

“Okay.”

She’s surprised at both the agreement _and_ how easily he says it, nodding his head lightly with it.

“Okay?”

He nods again, slightly more sure of himself and with the ghost of a smile on his lips.

“We could make out for, like, twenty minutes first, though.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments for the penultimate chapter? 👉🏻👈🏻🥺


	6. doubting every step i take (i know that everything finds it's place)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is it i finished the fic wow :D this has been such a fun way to explore their pre-canon dynamic while also twisting canon to my will and finding a way to force simon and jessica in too bc i want them all to be friends and canon is my sandbox thank u for ur time 
> 
> i hope y'all enjoy this wrap up, good vibes all around <3

Leaving is… so much _easier_ than he thinks it should be. He should feel some guilt or confliction as he shoves shirt after shirt back into his suitcase. But as he packs up his stuff, all he can think about is the feeling of Zoey’s lips still ghosting across his neck and how _nice_ it had felt to hold her against his chest; for twenty minutes, he’d stopped worrying about what his family would think or how they’d react to something he did and it was an _intoxicating_ feeling. One he doesn’t quite think he’s gonna be letting go anytime soon.

But that doesn’t mean the panic’s _never_ gonna set in and he’d quite frankly like to get outta dodge before it _does_ and he does something stupid like stay here and spend Christmas with his family, enduring every passive aggressive comment and jab at everything from his career to his sexuality to his fake girlfriend (or… not so fake? They’ve not exactly talked about it in more detail than a reciprocation of feelings followed by a _lot_ of kissing and a little bit of _more than kissing_ in his childhood bedroom, but he’s _pretty sure_ it’s no longer fake) to everything in between.

So, he shoves faster. Where he’d usually care about folding his shirts carefully or rolling his pants to preserve room without wrinkling them, he just… doesn’t, each item of clothing shoved into the bag more aggressively than the last. He doesn’t even realize how manic he’s become until Zoey’s arms find their way around his waist, stretching her arms out to grab his hands from in front of him, clothes falling from his grip lightly on top of his suitcase as she pulls them close to his chest, pressing a soft kiss between his shoulder blades as he drops his head with a huff of a laugh and practically melts at her touch, choosing to at least _try_ to let the tension drain from his shoulders.

“You could try breathing, I’ve heard that helps.”

Leif snorts, though the laugh is choked with the tears in his eyes that he hadn’t even realized were there.

“I’m really doing this. Just… _leaving.”_

“You don’t have to.”

“I want to.” He says matter-of-factly, turning around and letting their hands fall between them as he gives her a sober look, nodding his head lightly. “I’m gonna go insane if we stay here, I just… I’ve never… I mean, I’ve lied to get out of stuff, I’ve avoided going in the first place, but I’ve never _actively_ blown off my parents, so I’m just… I’m just a _little bit_ on the verge of freaking out.”

“I can see that.” She laughs a little bit with the words, taking their hands between them again. “I can finish packing your stuff if you wanna take a breather and maybe say bye to Lily?”

Leif hesitates, eyes dropping to where their fingers are intertwined with a thoughtful look.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I packed light, anyways, I’m already all packed up. _Go._ ”

He knows it’s a bald-faced lie and that he’d seen her unpack just as many sweaters and button-ups as he had, but he appreciates the gesture, anyways, and he’s sure it couldn’t _hurt_ to get out of his own head for a minute.

“Okay.” Leif responds quietly, steeling himself with a deep breath before squeezing her hands lightly and dropping them, heading towards the door and firing off a quick text to Lily.

**Lucky (9:48PM):** Hey, can you step away from the party for a minute?  
**Lucky (9:48PM):** I really need to talk to you.  
**Lucky (9:49PM):** Please check your phone :( :( :(

**Lily (9:51PM):** where are you??

**Lucky (9:51PM):** Can you meet me on the stairs?  
**Lucky (9:52PM):** The back stairs, not the living room ones.  
**Lucky (9:52PM):** I’m kind of trying to avoid the remnants of the party.

Leif waits on the stairs for a couple minutes, sitting with his knees drawn up in front of him, letting his arms rest forward with his head on his knees, grateful for the opportunity to rest his eyes and let his brain idle for a minute as he takes in the distant sounds of the party still bouldering on in the living room.

After a minute, he hears light heels making their way up the stairs, but doesn’t look up until a heeled foot nudges lightly at his leg and he hears someone sit down beside him.

“So, what’s up, Lucky?”

He looks up at her and he’s sure the first thing she notices is the redness around his eyes and the light sniffle as he raises his head. With a quick look of pity as he collects himself, she scoots closer to him and puts an arm around his shoulders, pulling him in so that his head leans awkwardly onto her shoulder.

“That was quite a -” Lily starts to break the silence when she’s interrupted by Leif’s blunt voice.

“We’re leaving.”

“Hm?”

“Me and Zoey. I can’t stay here.”

Lily is silent for a second as her hand rubs absently at his bicep where her hand rests and the only sound filtering up the steps is the distant noises of the party.

“You’ll be happier if you go?”

“ _Yeah.”_

Leif can hear the doubt in the back of his own voice, but he’s also more confident than he can remember being in a long time in regards to anything about his parents.

“You’ve gotta call more.” Lily lets her head loll to the side and rest on top of Leif’s as she lets the breath out of her chest. “Not everyone else. And not every day. But I wanna hear from you. I wanna know you’re okay. I can come to San Francisco sometime.”

“That sounds nice.” Leif responds, his voice relatively flat despite the honesty that underlies it.

“Maybe I can force you to actually tell Zoey you like her.”

“ _Oh.”_ Leif’s head snaps up at that, dropping Lily’s arm from around him as he sits up and shakes his head to clear it. “We kind of… I kind of already did.”

Lily gasps with a disbelieving laugh, hitting his arm lightly with a look that very clearly communicates _‘and you didn’t think to tell me that first’?_

_“And?”_

“ _And…_ it’s mutual.”

He shrugs, processing the words himself for probably the first time since she’d kissed him on the rooftop balcony.

“Well, I could’ve told you _that_. You two look at each other like you’re seeing each other for the first time literally all the time. It’s _disgusting.”_

Lily’s words are teasing, but there’s a smile underneath it, love and pride pouring out of her body language.

“Are you happy?” She asks, nudging his foot with her own.

“I think so.” He pauses, chewing the inside of his cheek in thought for a second. “I really think so.”

“ _Good._ ” Lily pulls him into another sideways hug before standing up and pulling him with her. “Now, get outta here. Save yourself. I’ll call you a cab if you sneak out the back.”

* * *

So, Zoey finds herself sitting in an airport again, holding a somehow anxiouser Leif’s hand and rubbing small circles with her thumb as they wait to board a red-eye flight and she really wishes that _a couple-days-ago-Zoey_ who had been so adamant to Max that she had never and would never think about Leif like that could see her now, worry flooding her chest despite the doubts still lingering in the back of her mind.

Those doubts could be addressed another time, when they’re free of his family and their expectations, once they’ve passed a nice Christmas day with their friends (and hopefully gotten a little bit of sleep); which reminds her to untangle her hand from his and shoot off a quick text to Max asking if he’s free the next night, before switching to Slack and shooting a similar one to Tobin (prefaced _heavily_ with the context of it being for Leif and not her; Tobin may be Leif’s best friend, but she still wants to make it absolutely clear that she has almost zero interest in _actually_ hanging out with him outside of work).

Before long, their gate is called to board and he assures her that he’ll be fine as long as he doesn’t process the plane taking off. Lucky for both of them, he’s able to fall asleep again before the plane takes off, his head resting lightly on her shoulder again and this time she doesn’t ignore the butterflies that that kicks off in her stomach, choosing instead to maneuver her arm to rest around his shoulders and pull him in closer, pressing a soft kiss into formerly perfectly gelled hair, drawing a contented sound from his throat as he drifts off.

And _okay,_ she thinks, _maybe this is gonna be okay, after all._ ‘Cause those doubts are still gonna be there, no matter what, but this feels _good_ , his head on her shoulder and her free hand reaching to intertwine with his on the armrest between them as she focuses in on his soft, shallow breaths where he’s almost certainly fallen asleep now and the thought of having real, actual feelings for Leif doesn’t seem nearly as scary as it did less than a day ago.

When the plane lands, she nudges him awake again and it takes a second for him to process her arm around him and their fingers intertwined as he blinks sleepy eyes open, but the small, shy smile that rests on his face when he does makes her stomach do a flip that she would’ve flat out ignored a week ago.

It’s fully morning by the time they’ve finished collecting their luggage and finished the taxi ride back to Zoey’s apartment and Leif convinces her that _she_ does actually need to sleep, too.

Zoey responds to a few texts from Max and Tobin, letting them know the very careful plan she’d come up with on the plane ride and praying that they’d agree to it and set it up while she and Leif collapsed onto her bed without bothering to change clothes; Leif lays on his back and Zoey curls into his side and it feels natural enough that she doesn’t have any trouble falling asleep and feels even more peaceful waking up half a day later to find that the position has moved so that they’re both laying on their sides and Leif is pressed up against her back, pressing a soft kiss to the back of her head as he feels her stir awake.

Zoey’s eyes catch on the clock before turning around and pressing a gentle kiss against his lips, pulling away with a light smile pulling at the corners of her lips.

“We should… take your stuff back to your apartment.”

“Is that… a two person job?”

He doesn’t sound like he doesn’t _want_ her to come; it feels almost as if he’s asking her if she actually _wants_ to. Which, she _would,_ anyways, regardless of her _plan_ that meant she needed to go with him.

“It is when we just got together and I wanna spend more time with you, yeah.”

“Okay.” Leif smiles with the response, moving his hand up to grab hers where it lays between them and press a kiss against her knuckles.

So, they stretch and get up and grab his stuff and head towards his apartment, where Zoey can’t hide the quiet smile that sits restlessly on her lips as he unlocks the door and opens it to the _slight shock_ of seeing Tobin (and, alright, that one’s not a surprise, they _live together_ , he was expecting to see Tobin), Max, Simon, and a very pretty lady who Simon’s arm is resting lightly around, who seem to have been chatting lightly before the door had opened.

“Zo, you were supposed to tell us when you were coming up, we would’ve yelled surprise or something, it would’ve been dope as fuck.” Tobin’s faux-anger brings a smile to Leif’s face as they close the door behind them and he sets his luggage down next to the door, though the primary emotion is still confusion.

“It’s not… an _actual_ Christmas celebration, but it’s friends. And it’s not your family. And I asked Max to get some tequila and wine on top of a pack of beer, so you’ve got options.”

Zoey’s voice is just a little sheepish as she looks back at the group in the living room and Leif makes his way into the room, resting on the armrest next to Tobin as Max seems to realize that they’ve forgotten something.

“Oh, this is Simon. And his fiancée, Jessica. We were already hanging out when Zoey texted me, I figured _the more the merrier_ , right?”

“Oh, no, I’ve actually met Si - _mon._ Simon.” Leif hesitates in the middle of Simon’s name and Zoey gives him a thoughtful look that she notices is mirrored on Simon’s face. “We met in the game area, taught him how to beat Galaga.”

“Yeah, but I can still take you down in pinball, so watch out.” Simon says, pointing amicably at Leif with a laugh and the last little bit of tension he’d been carrying dissipates as he moves from the armrest to an actual chair, where everyone falls into an easy camaraderie, conversation taking shape quickly as Max announces that he’s actually _‘pretty darn good’_ at making mixed drinks to which Tobin makes a rather serious request for him to _‘prove it’_.

The drinks start flowing and laughs carry through the room for the rest of the night, as _many_ drinks are gone through and card games are brought out and friendships are _almost_ ruined by _bullshits_ called and shitty timing of _plus four_ Uno cards; but through it all, Leif finds himself at peace and, _most importantly_ , having fun with his coworkers and his _now-real girlfriend_ and he’d kind of like to stay in this moment forever, mid-shelf alcohol flowing through his veins and laughter filling his ears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments always make me happy!! <3


End file.
